She was one in a million

Last night I'd've bet money I heard Surya barking to come in.

Been 6 weeks. .and I still miss her (and the dumb blond) terribly.

Those who haven't had a special dog won't understand, will make fun of me, I don't care.. she was my once in a lifetime dog.


I went to do something, and called Secret Goose. . poor Secret. . .she doesn't realise how big of a hole she stepped in in coming home. .
.

I catch myself looking for her in the yard. .she used to lay there and just watch me do whatever I had to do, ears cocked, until I headed to the gate, then she'd boink in excitement. Rarely ever making a noise, but waiting patiently



We're (Gossips friends & I) donating a trophy in her name, and I had to go thru my photos for the trophy maker, and I bawled the entire time. Too hard seeing that so full of life face and not have her next to me.

We finally got the full necropsy back. . .i'd been worrying it was the 'sudden death' thing that is in Borzoi. . I was pretty sure she didn't have any of the other heart problems in Borzoi, she'd had her heart OFA'd in May, had had another good ascultation by my own vet, and no dog with a heart murmur bad enough to kill a dog like this could beat dogs on the field like she was beating them, like she DID beat them 5 days before she died, and doing it without much effort by the way she
didn't pant long and hard. . .absolutely NO exercise intolerance. As my friend Ariel said today, there's no way a dog with a heart problem could kick her competitions asses like she did that last weekend. . .




I needn't've worried: her heart was perfect.

Nope, what killed my shining star was a freaking bacterial infection of the lungs, mass hemorraging in the lungs "Toxic shock". . .WTF?

I don't understand most of the necropsy, Bonnie & Jim do, and the above is the basic nature of it. . .massive bleeding in the lungs killed my baby, caused 'toxic shock'.






I have talked to other owners who've lost dogs the same way, no known cause. Was sent links to articles about boarding kennels/rescue kennels that have had dogs suffered from this. . .sometimes there's a known vector, other times it's a WTH is going on. . A friend told me about losing her brother to something akin to this. . .except dogs don't always tell you when they're feeling icky

All it does is leave me depressed, lonely and frustrated. I would do anything, ANYTHING to have her back at my side. I can't even go walk until I'm exhausted, my knee is STILL killing me, and so trying to not overdo it. . .

Secret has helped, a lot, even tho she is nothing like the Goose

She is stubborn

She is clingy to the point of throwing temper tantrums if I leave her and she can't get to my side.

She is clueless of personal space

She is dingy

But she is sweet, and bouncy, gives me hugs like Gossip used to, is loving on Pippens, gave Treasure a swipe of her tongue.

She reminds me in many ways of a combination of Surya & Gossip.

She has brought smiles back into the house, and is slowly warming up to everyone, but she's definitely MY dog. .as if I move, she has to follow me. . silly little red head.

Off to shows this weekend, frustrating as I can't even show my own dogs until this bum knee heals. . was hoping it'd be feeling much better, but it comes and goes :(

Miss you Goosey goose. . .

the lgra/notra nationals

The LGRA/NOTRA nationals are over. . .

It was a very bittersweet nationals for me, and for two of my friends. . .T lost her promising basenji at the 2007 Nationals, he slipped his collar and was hit by a car :( Deb lost her Iggy last year, he got away from her and also was hit by a car. . .so lots of tears were shed for great friends gone too soon.

I took seven dogs with me. . .Ava flew out, which was a nightmare in and of itself. . .friend was supposed to ship her Saturday, didn't get there early enough saturday, so had to go back to my friend's that night, stay with her, get up, ship her out Sunday, which was a total nightmare. . .especially when i got lost in Newark. . .but Ava got to portland, is in her mama's hands, and promptly came into season LOL

Secret was along for the ride because she's stuck to me like rice, and some of Gossip's friends wanted to see her. . .other than forcing herself up front, between the captain chairs anyway she could, and when she couldn't, curling up on the nylon crate behind the chairs, she was a pretty good girl.

I had Focus for Bonnie, didn't expect anything really from her, she was in season end of july, so is just getting out of her slump, but since she was the only dog that was able to touch Gossip when she was 100%(and even then, it was only an occasional race she beat Gossip at), we entered her. Robin sent Ryder up for me to run, poor boy was out of shape due to the horridly hot summer they've had, John entered Wiard in Notra, we entered Reba in Notra, and I had my Ziva entered. DIdn't expect much from her, she is a baby still, the youngest by a year, but I was proud of her.

The weather was SOOO much better than last year's freezing rain, only thing i got this year vs a nasty cold last year, was wind chapped face/

Poor Ziva, she started the day in high point, but she tried her hardest, and came in 3rd behind much older and experienced dogs Bart(1) & Kyrie (2). She ran well for being the baby and still coming into her own, tieing for 5th and coming in 6th overall. Very pleased with her runs.

Ryder couldn't get his butt out of the box for 1st High Point and came in 4th, and that screwed him up for the rest of the day. . he placed 2nd behind the eventual BOS FTE winner Doro, and won his last race, to come in 5th(tied with Ziva)

Focus, as Gossip's pitch hitter, ran better than I'd hoped, and won all three races, to win the Nationals. . .I wish Gossip had been around, that was the only way the High Point races could've been better. . a huge ribbon and a trophy came home to Bonnie's delight.

What was extremely pleasing was 7 of the 8 top Borzoi went back to DC Silkenswift Blaze of CHaos(and more titles i cant' remember this am). . nice especially when I got wind of a nasty rumour that silkenswift dogs have horrid fronts and thus makes them slow LOL. .. 15 dogs running. . not bad at all. . .

Didn't get to enjoy the awards banquet due to having to go back to Newark, which was a shame, as I know it was a lot of fun.

We'll ignore the nightmare of getting Ava on the plane, and judge right onto NOTRA nationals. . .I had 5 of the 10 dogs entered. . think I may've lost my mind when I offered to run dogs for people LOL.

Reba ran her little heart off, but was in line to get the turtle after an OC, DNF happened, and then it happened, she couldn't get thru the dogs in front of her, and she went OC :( A disappointment for her little junior handler Georgia, who had(with adult help), dressed & muzzled her, she then walked her to the box with very little help, Mr John helped her box her, and with help she caught her, where she walked her back and undressed her lOL. . SHe proved that a 5 yr old could run Reba. . only one time was Reba not polite, otherwise she was the perfect, calm, sweet angel.

Ziva suddenly stopped fighting me at the box, stopped sitting in the box, now if she could only learn to stick to the turns(I know, give her time!) She finished 6th and picked up her first ORC points(0.5), I was more pleased with her progress in getting over the scare she got last month from a rough handler than anything.

Focus ran nicely, but started running out of steam. . .she ended up placing a respectable 4th, the 2nd high scoring non ORC, she's still not doing turns like she will in a few more meets.

Wizard, wizard shocked the crap out of many people by almost beating Bartlby, who is almost unbeatable, the last race. . he was ahead of Bart, and at the last moment slowed down enough Bart caught up with him and he tied. . Hopefully John'll listen to me and excercise that boy. . .he ended up placing 2nd due to that last race, finishing the day as the high scoring non titled oval racing boy.

I was very pleased with the kids. .. had a wonderful day, wish I'd video'd that last race it was so freaking amazing to watch as the siblings duked it out, first Valkyrie, than Bart, and then Wizard. .the top 4 dogs of the meet were all littermates: Bart, Wizard, Valkyrie, Focus

It wasn't as horrid as I feared it would be. . yes, I did miss my girl, but I had fun due to great friends. . .

The EAST COAST ROCKED THE NATS!!!!

I've got a secret

So, two weeks ago, Margaret emailed me and asked if I could pick Secret up early. . things had transpired and she was between jobs that wanted her to start early. . with some talk, we agreed, and two saturday's ago, I got up at 3:30, was in the car by 3:45 and drove, with one of my favorite people, Kari, 14 hrs round trip to pick up Gossip's sister.

Gotta say, I'm so thankful to have had Kari with me, it would've been a two day trip, no way I could've done 14 hrs on my own. .. I was shutting down when we pulled into the driveway at 8. No idea how people drive like that every weekend, nope.

It was so nice to see Margaret, first time since 1997, even if it was a really quick visit, as she was heading back to Tn to see her family, we had our 7 hr drive home. . .tears were cried, and then we packed Secret up into the rental car and headed home

Forty-five mins into the drive, she started moaning/groaning, and wouldn't stop, worried she was stressing, I pulled over, but as soon as she got on the grass, she squated for a mile long pee. . .poor girl. Once she was done, into the car, and lay down and be a good girl for the drive. . .

Kari's a great conversationalist, and a wonderful traveling companion, so even tho it was a long day, it went a lot faster than it would've, and before i knew it, we were home. .

She's like Gossip in some ways(lovely tanky body), and unlike her in other ways(Stubborn as hell, not as bouncy), she's slipped into the job as my shadow without an issue. . and has become a good house dog, tho she's learning manners when humans are eating, you don't try and snitch off the plate.

She's very overwhelmed with all the dogs, but is slowly warming up, she's not as confident and sure of herself as Gossip was. . .lighter on her feet tho. . .

She's moved into the dogbed in the bedroom, and pleasing me to no end, she's not showing any interest in the cats. Like her sister, she goes in, finds the bed, and plops down.

What's funny is Pippens reaction to her. For the three weeks since Gossip had died, he'd wake me up at about midnight, crying and crying, wandering around the bedroom. .. since secret's come up to the bedroom, he has been silent. . and as soon as she walked in the bedroom and laid down, he was in her face, totally obblivious that she was a strange dog, rubbing all over her, licking her legs, treating her totally unlike the way he'd treated Dei all along. Thankfully, even tho I've muzzled her, she's been ignoring him, and if she's unmuzzled, she cleans his ears. ..

She's fit back into the house like she was always here. .. and for that i'm thankful. .and I'm also thankful that I'm now sleeping thru the night. . her presence is soothing. . .for nothing other than that, I'm happy she's home. .

She's home

Gossip came home Tuesday night

How such a vibrant, bright, full of life, full speed ahead girl can be reduced to such an ugly tin box, is so beyond me.

Been owned animals on my own for 18 yrs now. . and have lost animals, way too many over the years, mostly to natural causes, only one of them 'all of a sudden', and that was a stupid yard accident on way too much ice. . but this has been the worse. .because there was no illness, nothing.

I keep trying to think of something she could've gotten into, but the three kitties that sleep with me every night are fine. . and we still wait the report. . the prelims were confusing at best. .

Each day is hard, a little easier than the one before, but still hard. . as Gossip was my shadow. Unless it was too hot for her to go someplace with me, or work, she went everywhere with me. . she helped me thru losing Obie, took me on so many adventures. If it weren't for her, I would not've rented the van last year and gone to MI to the Nationals, nor would I've rented the van and gone up to NH by myself. . most of the 47,000 miles put on my car in 3 yrs, were put there because of her, racing, shows, classes. . or just joy rides. . .she was my partner in crime, my copilot, my best bud. . .

House is so empty without her and Surya. . Dei & Tilly just don't exude the presence they had. They're quiet souls for the most part. . Gossip & Surya were the class clowns. .

Once I can handle it, she'll be put in an Urn more her style. . and ashes from her & Obie will be sent to have a heart pedant made to hang in my rear view mirror. .they were both my copilots. . .both curled up in the front seat of my cars(Obie in the 'stang, Gossip in the Neon). Found a place that will make beautiful glass pedants, and it just 'feels' right.




Pick up the rental car tomorrow and rush down to Bristol VA to pick up Secret. . not sure i'll be able to do the trip in one day, but going to try. On one hand, I hope she's nothing like Gossip in personality, OTOH, it would be nice to have some of that back. . .hopefully she will be ok with the cats.

Then it's back to the drawing board after I recover monetarily from the last month(No credit cards are good, but also sucks :P), health tests and stud dog shopping. . i have my eye on a few boys, unfortunately, one of them is way out west, another is too young( yearling), and the last isn't as keen on the bunny as I'd like. . even more unfortunate, there's no whole brother of Surya around. . .his half sibs are nowhere near as nice as he was, IMHO.

degenerative myelopathy

Not that it really matters anymore, but my darling Gossip was DM Clear. . now here's hoping her sister is too. . damn I miss that dog