just a dog

Just a dog

Those of us who loves dogs with all our hearts hear that all the time when we lose one of our four legged friends. Usually said by people who don't understand teh bond, and don't understand just how cold hearted they sound.

But to those of us who love them, REALLY love them, not just adore them, they're not just dogs. They are part of the family, our kids, our best friends, the only source of unconditional love we have in this life (humans are incapable of this one they get out of infant stage). They never hate us, they never stab us in the back, they never argue with us, never cheat on us, and are always there at the end of a horridly long day with a smile on their little furry faces and a wag of a tail. And so when we lose them, it's like we lost part of our family.

Been thinking of Obie a lot lately. . anniversary of losing him is this weekend. And keep thinking it should be him running in Veterans. I had been SOO looking forward to showing my little man in Veterans at specialties. Even tho he had to be neutered, he was IMHO, the best Borzoi I've bred, yes, even better than Gossip. . .his tail carriage was better LOL I remember having him at the NY Nationals, and having a long time Breeder walk by, stop and gush over the front he had. Yes, he had a gorgeous front, and definitely could use it. Unfortunateley, he could never be shown as he sucked up that testicle at 9 months, but he was still a wonderful companion. . and loved to show off, so I had hoped to show him in Veterans. .

Not that I'm dissing Umbra. Love my hairball, and he's now enjoying the show ring. He looked so good with Kari a few weeks ago. . .Not that I'm dissing Grins. Love my dork boy. . .and he enjoys running, but I'm wishing a certain little brindle boy was going with me to do both of those this weekend.

heart pets

Heart dogs are not made, they are born. You can't craft them, or mold them, or create them, only the powers that we can't see can. It doesn't matter who you believe in up and above, one god or multiple gods, or the fates, or the great sun god, they craft and create and gift these wonderful creatures.

I thought I was blessed with Schatzi. This cat knew me, and owned my soul. I didn't have him anywhere near as long as I should've, only twelve and a half short years. I lost him 6 yrs ago end of next month, and still miss him terribly. Schatzi was my best buddy, was always there when I needed to talk, always there to snuggle. Where I went, Schatzi went. .and when I lost him, my heart broke. . .

And a little brindle borzoi stepped into the huge shoes he left. .Obie didn't replace Schatzi, he just helped me heal. I remember coming home from putting Schatzi down, and Obie leapt onto the bed to give him his Obie hug. Obie was my lil man, and helped me thru some absolutely horrid times. . I call this photo "i'll wait for you mom", and it made me cry earlier today, I miss him so damn much. My silly happy toy dog. .

And now the Fates have given me Gossip. . .she is my pride and joy, and definitely my baby girl. I am most definitely happiest when I'm working with her, whether it's watching her race the wind down the LGRA track, or working her with agility or obedience. She has helped me heal and get over the last few years, and keeps me going. Her exhuberance for life is only outdone by her love for her people. She doesn't quite fit the hole Obie left in my heart when i lost him, but she tries her damndest and proudly wears the mantel of his successor.

I love all my animals, and cry and mourn all their deaths as well as love all the current ones deeply but heart dogs weasle themselves deeper than love, they're part of you, part of your heart and soul, they have their claws wrapped into your heart and dig deep, so when you lose them, it's more than just grief. . if you've never owned a heart dog or cat, you just don't understand, at all, what the loss means. . I'm blessed to've been given three of them, and treasure and love them all still so much.

I just hope I have Ms Gossip for a long long time, since my record with heart animals seem to lose them to cancers way before their time.

Happy birthday Gossip

Gossip turned 4 yesterday, where does time go? Seems like just yesterday I was trying to decide who to keep between Gossip, Rumour & Secret. . .

She spent the day in style LOL: 2 double cheesburgers at McD's(She was only supposed to get one, but I had a sinus migraine and about threw up after I ate one bite :P), and wanted the 3rd I picked up for Grins & Stardust. . .we then went to Petsmart where the Diva got all the attention she could ask for. . .everyone came to pet Miss Gossip. . .and then she picked out a huge fuzzy porcupine, tasted some treats and picked up a box of cookies and a bag of training treats.

We then swung over to Petco, where it was a repeat of pets, and a roll of Natural Balance, a lb of pick your own cookies to share with everyone at home. We then went home, and she got bedrights when I collapsed due to the migraine, and she woke me up a few hours later, having found the squawker. .. which she promptly squawked, in my ear. . .brat LOl At which point I scooted back and she climbed into bed, to soon be joined by Prince Brat, who wouldn't leave her alone, boy he was sooo happy to have his dog in bed with him lOL

Yes, she's spoiled, I admit it. . I love this dog to no end. . .almost as much as I loved her Uncle Obie. She's not Obie, but she's stepped into the huge hole he left in my heart and has tried to fill ti as much as she can. Like him, she has a huge presense, a huge personality. . she's got a zest for life that nobody matches, and is always happy to do anything with me. . out of everything, she's the one thing that's helped me heal most. . .my bouncy baby borzoi girl.

Missing my boy

Don't know if it was fooling with Scirocco today, or what, but I'm missing my boy. . .someone asked about water dogs and I remembered Obie dozing off in the swimming pool at the 04 Nationals, and wrote Dee Jones who thankfully still had the photos.

Sure the hell miss that dog. . best damn dog I've bred, and yeah, that includes Ms Gossip who's a nice damn dog in her own right. Found this definition of a heart dog, and it fits

"
If one is lucky, one is gifted with the absolute joy of a heartdog. What is a heartdog? "I've always loved all of our dogs, Borzoi or not, but there have been a few that put a pawprint that remains forever on my heart. A heart dog is that special one. Probably not the prettiest, smartest or healthiest, but rather the one that seems so to fill your heart, bring a smile to your lips, and you feel is closer to than your best friend. The one that seems to have so many special qualities that may or may not be seen by the rest of the world. They are terrible to own as you know you can't replace them and you dread each passing year. They give you more love and joy than you ever thought possible, then break your heart when they leave. However, you will gladly bear the pain, than not to have had the joy of their presence." (courtesy Diana Moos with a slight change of breed) "

Was working on my website, and put up the new pics I've got of him, and started crying. . .for those people who've never had a heartdog, they'll make fun of me, but then they've never had that bond I had with this dog. And I pity them, because they're missing out on a wonderful thing. . .I've had two heartpets, Schatzi & Obie, and miss them both terribly.

Been a year

It's been a year

But it still hurts so damn much
Still miss you so much
Miss your silly bounce of happiness when I walked in
As if I was your sun, your world
Miss your silly flag ears when I talked to you
As if you understood every word I said.
Miss the way you'd bounce around in circles
So happy with life, even when three legged.
Miss the way you seemed to know what I want,
To know what I thought
Miss the way you'd clean the kitties ears,
So gentle, so sweet, even if they pushed you off your food.
Hope Abu & Fidget found you this year
And that Cleo, Sushi & Schatzi are curled next to you purring
And Brooks is laying beside you
As Kyra, Races & Rinka race around like idiots.
Mama misses you all so much
Miss the way you used to hug, burying your head in my belly with a
sigh of content
Just so happy to be with your mama.
you reserved those hugs for me and me alone,
Except for the one time with Gran
Miss the way you followed me
Wanting to make sure I didnt' go somewhere without you
Miss the way you look at me, showing the love in those little dark eyes.
miss how you liked to go for a ride, just to be with Mom,
head snuggled between the front seats so you could touch me.
waiting for me to roll the window down so you could stick your head out.
Miss our walks
You bouncing around chasing butterflies, rabbits & birds
Always looking back to see if i was coming
Miss our snuggles
Your head on my pillow
your shoulder for me to cry on
Miss the fact you could sleep with me without pushing me out of the
bed, something your sister nor neices can do.




Wish you were here
To make me laugh
To make me smile
I think El Pest* would be your best friend
And I think you'd love the little brat.





Dei tries her hardest
But she's not you, she's not her brother
Gossip's been striving,
But she's not you, she's not her uncle.
You were one of a kind.




Visited Schenectady this weekend, and so many happy memories had me in tears.
I remember how much you adored Grandma, how you'd treat her like you
do me, only gentler. . and so when I cried at her grave for her, it
was also for you
I try to take a page from Mom's book: neither of you are in pain
anymore, neither of you have failing bodies, but I miss you both so
damn much.

But I try and take Solace in the fact that maybe Gran needed you more
than I do, but I still cry so many tears.

It's been a year, but in many ways, it feels like forever yet feels
like yesterday
I miss you baby boy.
-your mom


*El Pest AKA Pippens was given to me after I lost Obie, he's brought a
lot of laughter in my life, but this lil ragdoll is a BRAT.

ramblings

Gossip achieved her freedom this morning. She got bathed, gussied up last night, and got to sleep with me last night, where she quickly vacuumed up the cat food the Brats(Herbie & Treasure) scattered everywhere while I was gone this last weekend. She knows why I keep her around ;) And then this morning, she was released into the big yard, 1st time since her surgery really. Fingers are crossed I get home and she is SOUND! It's been 3 months since surgery, so here's hoping! She has definitely suffered bodily for restricted exercise since October: lack of muscle, narrower. . .the way she plays, I expect that to be remedied quickly.

Dork boy AKA Grins swears she’s still in season, following her around, and when I yell at him, he stands up and flashes his grin, and continues being the dork. LOL Love him dearly, even if he is a DORK!!!

Got a note from Titania AKA The Queen’s mom, and she’s doing well, even tho she’s also nicknamed the PIG cuz of her habit of wallowing in the mud while digging for gold lOL

Five days away was much needed, could use another week, but boy did the kiddos tell me how much they missed me. Treasure didn’t shut up the 1st night home, and Dei’s been trying to stick to me like white on rice. Gossip would’ve been in my arms if she could’ve fit. Silly Goosey girl.

Was hard, everyone kept asking over Kyra, who’s been gone since 2/06, and Obie, who’s been gone a year tomorrow, and I kept breaking down. The kids remembered them both and adored them both, as did my Aunt. Between that and Gran’s memorial, was a hard weekend.

Bone cancer

Sucks.
I hate having to call puppy buyers and say "Your puppy's "(Brother/Father) just died of bone cancer. . .::SIGH::

It's even worse because there's no test, no known inheritance, nada. It's a guessing game, and now I have it in two of the three ways I've bred.

Kyra, Rinka & Garrett, together at the bridge again

Garrett was a goober dog. Sweet, loving, a bit snarky over food, but adored his people. His previous home hated him and gave him to me. He came to me under socialized, under handled but sweet as can be. He'd never seen linoleum, didn't know how to act in the house. I'm not sure if he was ignored in his former home or what, but he acted like he'd never been out of his yard

In limited showing he picked up 5 points, and finished his Can Ch, he sired a litter for me, the twilight litter, giving me my very first BBE champion, and he sired a litter of two in Canada. Shortly after he came back from his stint in Canada, he almost died from a prostate infection. . .but I nursed him thru that, and then neutered him, and placed him in a wonderful pet home. His coat was hell to deal with (his nickname was Pig Pen) and the fear everytime a bitch came into season just made me think it was the best thing to do.

I got an email from his home the other day, that he'd been put down due to bone cancer in a rib. . .he would've been 9 this July. . .Such a sweet suckup boy. . .Emailed his sire's owner, and it looks like there's two, maybe three of the litter left, another sister died recently, haven't heard back from her owner what took her.

But, I'll take bone cancer over bloat. At least with bone cancer you have time with the dog, and if you're a good person, you take advantage of that time, spend a lot of time with your buddy, Obie went everywhere with me this time last year, he went to the Nationals with me, even when I was told I shouldn't do that to him, but he absolutely positively loved it. He schmoozed with all his buddies, I got to see him on the beach, watch him frolicking on three legs, and got to spend some good quality time with him. Losing him sucked no matter what, but at least I had the time

Bloat doesn't give you that. . if you're lucky, you catch bloat, but then you have to make the decision do you have $3000+ for emergency surgery that may or may not save your dog. If you're unlucky, you come home to a dead dog. . BTDT. . I'll take bone cancer, at least you get to say goodbye. . but they both suck giant turkey eggs.

And now I sit worried, looking at Umbra wondering if the cancer bomb will take Garrett's goober son away from me. . .hoping it won't happen. . .and trying to find a line I like that doesn't have cancer up close so I can take him to it, in hopes of continuing on with that litter. .unfortunately his first litter didn't nick like I'd hoped :( but that's the game of breeding.

Damnit, I miss my Obie :( And I know Lisa misses Garrett